We’re often so busy on the hamster wheel of life that we don’t stop to take a breath. When did being busy become a badge of honour? We’re so busy… busy, busy, busy ‘doing’ that we rarely get a chance to just ‘be.’
‘We’re ‘human beings’ not ‘human doings’ after all’ – I heard this phrase recently and it struck a chord. I often get asked ‘how are you? Busy I hope’… Or when someone asks you how you are, how often is it a reflex reaction to say; ‘good, busy’. It’s like we’re so accustomed to living in this way it’s begun to feel normal, and for a lot of us, myself included, life is busy, life is full, colourful, and messy at times – with three children, including a toddler in tow, working for myself, a household to run, a dog to walk, kids activities, birthdays, client work, personal work, projects, courses, exercise… the to do list never seems to end.
But lately this past week, I’ve realised – once again, the hard way, that taking on too much ‘doing’ – isn’t a badge of honour at all, it’s a sure fire way to lead to burn out. Since studying mindfulness and mediation, I have become more and more in tune with my body and managing my stress and anxiety, however that doesn’t mean I’m immune to falling into bad habits – (it just means I have a tool kit to fall back on when I do), and this past month has been a case of slipping into bad habits, it has by all means been a little too busy, and sometimes life happens is that way, but the busier I became the less time I found I had to do the things that I know make me feel good, the things that make me feel calm and help me to manage my stress… my gym sessions suddenly went out the window, no time… eating nutritious meals, no, I’ve not got time… need to meet a deadline… sleep – pah! No time for that, in fact I’m ashamed to say several nights in a row my laptop came to bed with me. I had an early morning meeting – I should have cancelled I was by all means exhausted but instead I ploughed on, plastering a little fake tan on my face to give the appearance of looking a little more ‘alive’.
And I’m ashamed to say, this was an old familiar pattern rearing its head – I remember the night before I had my daughter instead of taking the time to feel calm and take care of myself I was ‘busy’, my laptop nestled on top of my bump in bed, editing pictures for a client until gone midnight, I must finish before the baby arrives – I must ‘do’ this… no actually, if I could go back in time I would swiftly remove said laptop from our bedroom, remind myself that certain things can wait, and taking care of myself and my energy and stress levels was far more important. Oh the power of hindsight. And yet, even though, I have all the knowledge, it’s easy to slip back into old patterns.
“I had taken on a lot all at once, and I had survived in this mode – this fight or flight mode – for several weeks, firing through my to do list, rushing from one thing to the next, skipping meals, topping up on caffeine, skimping on sleep, until. Until my body said no more!”
I’d planned to get out my laptop once the kids were in bed, I needed to send some emails and do some work. And then out of nowhere, my stomach was in knots, agonising stomach pains that felt like my body was being torn apart stopped me in my tracks. I grabbed the side of the chair to steady myself, my knuckles white, I hadn’t felt pains like this since for years, I have IBS and endometriosis but I’ve had treatment and haven’t felt a flare up like this for as long as I can remember, not that it was necessarily that, I’m not a doctor but I do recognise my own body, and it was giving me a severe warning sign – waving a big red flag – slow down!
It was time I listened, I couldn’t not, the cramps were so intense I couldn’t move. My plans made a swift u-turn, I wasn’t going to be doing anything that evening. I rode the waves of pain with a hot water bottle in tow, and took myself to bed early once my little people had drifted off, and I listened to that intuition, that inner voice saying you need to stop.
I think sometimes our bodies do this, stop us in our tracks before we burn out. We start thinking all the ‘doing’ is the most important thing, but it’s not, being is. Being here. Being present, being healthy, filling our cups, we know all this deep down but it is easy to slip into negative patterns. I’ve taken this week as a reminder to myself to prioritise wellbeing – to reestablish healthy habits, the rest can wait! If an email isn’t sent immediately, if a client has to wait, all of that isn’t life and death – but if we don’t look after ourselves we won’t have anything left to give.
With that in mind I have scrapped my to do list for the rest of the week, and have a new agenda, it’s a simple one; Rest!
And if any of this resonates with you, here are a few thoughts of what that might look like;
- Try & make a habit of going to bed early
- Put some relaxing music on & take a long indulgent soak in the tub
- Don’t look at your phone/ any devise past 8pm
- Snuggle on the sofa with a great movie, a cosy blankie & some popcorn
- Limit time scrolling through social media (or better yet don’t look at all)
- Make your bed first thing in the morning
- Make & enjoy nutritious wholesome meals
- Curl up with a hot chocolate & a delicious new novel
- Begin journalling
- Write a gratitude list at the end of the day
- Change your ‘to do’ list to an ‘intentions’ list instead
- If you work for yourself or from home, set boundaries and be strict with your finish/ home time
- Take time to mediate every day (even for five minutes)
- Go for a mindful walk
- Do something that gets you into a state of flow (painting/ running/ baking)
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy a yin yoga practice before bed
- Light a beautiful scented candle
- Try & take 10 minutes out of your day to simply ‘be’ without any kind of agenda
Thank you for reading, be kind to yourself x
